Omg. Just talked to a semi driver from nebraska. Got her truck stuck. Gave her and her riding buddy a glass of vodka and a cig. YES.
I feel great
I just peed on a car
Are you going to tell your therapist we boned?
does it bother you that i swallowed like millions of your unborn children
actually, i try not to think about it
and i pooped them out
I put cups full of chips next to every bed, couch, and toilet so that everyone could have a snack when they woke up....
This day sucks. I just wanna play ostrich and bury my head in your boobs.
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
I'm pretty sure I just need an IV drip of Plan B at this point...
It could happen. I haven't creeped the rest of the guest list yet.
Just creeped. Everyone is a passable 7. Orgy is a go!
My TA is here with a sombrero and an entire bottle of Svedka. Skip jury duty.
I was in a penguin suit. Dick out. I am confident in the value of my pic.
I've only fucked to 2 Fleetwood Mac songs, that must be why my life feels so empty.
Do you ever get so high you're like vibrating
Took an adderall for the first time in a few weeks. Spent 45 minutes peeling an orange TO PERFECTION.
Someone's gotta tell him drunk sex comes before dating
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