I'm so never shaving my vag in a target bathroom for him again.
I don't remember much but I know I looked hot.
Edward fifth and chaser hands
It was just a friend comforting a friend. Except his penis was inside of me.
I just found a tail you can wear naked. Via a butt plug. Who ever said the internet was a good thing?
I'm about one sudden movement away from being able to cross "throw up in a fortune 100 company's bathroom" off my bucket list.
Just did a relay race involving shotgunning beers, cannonballs and riding a blowup whale. Never want to leave vacation.
Just fucked up my mustache shaving, gonna have to take it off because now it makes me look like a pedophile
FYI your old mustache made you look like a pedophile
I tried getting kicked out of my favorite bar. No matter what I did, I could do no wrong
Is there evidence of another human being getting away with this/ not dying?
If you shit your pants and not say anything about it right before we have sex one more time I'm dumping you.
Last night I drank three beers and threw up in a tree house. I am ashamed.
If he brings home bacon, dont let him leave. Dont screw this one up. this may be our last chance.
that may or may not have been my penis.
In hindsight I shouldn't have been blasting Antichrist Superstar if I didn't want to seem suspicious driving up to a Catholic church
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