your life is more of a joke than dina lohan.
if you\'re going to compare me please pick the classy one. Michael Lohan.
i really did not know you could catch crabs from a sofa until now
call of duty 2 was the straight man's twilight
My roommate still talks on AIM. What is this middle school?
Trying to figure out when's a good time to take acid and not tell anyone and see how long it takes people to notice
nothing like smoking out of your roommate's bong with your mom to celebrate the rising of christ
he is risen halelujah
apparently I crawled into someone's bed and demanded they call me 'big dog' before shotgunning a beer
I feel like I was eaten by a coyote, then shit over a cliff...
i wasnt laughing because you were puking, i was laughing because three yards away there was a couple seriously getting it on
continuing my moment killer tradition in the best possible way
Doap. Just bring some lube and a slingshot. Not sure y we need the slingshot.
You slapped the bar and yelled "daddys thirsty!" at the lady behind the bar
To be fair I was thirsty
When she told you not to yell you looked directly at me and screamed "Man, she sucks!"
So what did you do since you didn't go out?
...ate chocolate and watched bring it on....it's like I don't even know what it would look like to be straight.
What exactly is it about Doctor Who thigh high socks with a matching shirt that says "take me I'm yours!"
WTF was I supposed to tell them? "hi mom and dad, this is some rando I met on the internet. please ignore the noises that will be coming from my bedroom for the next 60-90 minutes. kthxbye."
I went to finger her and found a penny. I think ill keep it.
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