okay, this is the fifth time he asked if it was in yet. maybe i shouldn't have dated a blind guy.
Having him eat chocolate out of you is not as romantic as it sounds. I'm still finding pieces.
low key just jizzed in a chinese food container
Turns out puking in your mask makes it even harder to see out of the mask..
Between the dance party in the car and the distraction of the momma bear and two cubs im a cops wet dream roght now when comes to wreckless driving.
It summer and it's getting a lot harder to hide sex bruises from my parents.
First world problems?
You don't put off sexcapades. Life lesson #1.
i would like you to please flash back to us blacked out in the bathroom when you told me i needed to take one for the team and have a threesome with you and jon to help your relationship. you then told me you had no issue putting ghb in my drink to make it happen.
I'm surprised, it's been so long you must be starving
At a certain point, the zombie-like hunger goes away. Then the sadness sets in. Then you start lying to yourself that you're taking some "me time." Then you remember you dodged chlamydia and Buddha knows what else. Then you're at peace with it.
I can't even express how horny I am. The English language isn't equipped for what I'm plotting.
I have to pee in a cup in the morning and they are going to say....you just peed a miller light. I'm going to hang my head in shame and say yes...yes I did.
He overslept for our prescheduled morning sex. The fact that my vagina isn't enough to get him out of bed was the last straw.
Also I've accepted I am not going to be a catch today. I look like a dead hooker and the remedial work is going to be patchy at best with the shakes I've got.
We walked 3 miles to the strip club. Stopped for roadies, it wasn't that bad.
Here's a rundown of my night alone. Danced my ass off in the kitchen to FleetmacWood. Drank a little bit. Ordered $40 worth of Chinese food once the drinks kicked in. Picked up said Chinese in dirty sweatpants and slippers. #livinglife
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