Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
I wishh there was a lost and high section in walmart cause I would be there right now
i failed horribly. studying for that final was as pointless as Vinnie is to Jersey Shore
I just made out with a girl with a life jacket on wtf is going on
I'm going to fuck my way out of the friend zone if its the last thing I do
He offered me a 30 pack if I don't bring her to the party. Am I a bad friend If I take his offer?
when i got there he was on top of an air mattress in the middle of the pool with a bag of doritos and a 40 telling people he needed his space.
Just sponge bathed with a swissper. Thrush inevitable. Shaking.
Wackin it to the USA womens soccer team. My own personal way of saying job well done.
everyone thought he was too sick to make it, but he showed up. Ten minutes in and he's doing vodka shots with nyquil chasers
trading diseases for a hangover? that's either a really good decision or a really, really bad one. we'll find out if he wakes up tomorrow
So I met my girlfriends dad last night. Or should I say I re-met that mall cop that had to tackle me.
If the egyptians can build pryamids men can walk on the moon and ron jeremy can sleep with all those bitches then we can finish these three handles of vodka
"I'm in the bathroom. Only place I can sit and relax without that girl trying to give me a lap dance."
I've never been to an orgy, but I would assume nachos wouldn't be out of the question at one.
coming down from speed on a 5 hour flight home from vegas is not a valid reason for calling off work the next day
so i said i had a yeast infection
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