i feel like a thai whore the morning after the navy left.
Just saw a man being put through a dui test on the side of the road... it was noon and he was on a bicycle. God bless texas.
she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
Yeah I hope so. Definately just saw two freshmen in very authentic togas and cotton ball beards. This new class is stepping it up.
he told me he's been faithful to his girlfriend and is gonna try to stay that way. challenge accepted.
He just tagged everyone he's slept with this year in a 'memories of 2011' tweet
Plus I'm pretty sure you said "love you" on the phone, so technically I should be putting you on some type of probation
You will never know an awkward moment until your parents pick you up from a one night stand.
I'm sitting on our balcony drunk. And in my underwear. Our relationship with our neighbors may improve.
Do you have any pics of the gummy penis incident?
Just follow the currents of life. And if they take me on to a guys dick, so be it.
I arrived home at 7am wearing nothing but my underwear and a fedora. I ate half a dozen deviled eggs. Put Katy Perry on repeat. And cried myself to sleep. We cannot go out on Thursday anymore
Oh I fucked him, definitely. We played Strip Halo.
I can't believe I haven't fucked an Elvis impersonator yet.
I don't remember anything beyond the drinking game but I woke up in my own pee this morning so I'm just gonna go out on a limb and say I overdid it.
Randomize
