is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
The bar is so dead the tender gave us free shots for staying. They mixed 2pac and phil collins. That's worth at least three shots.
I just criticized a porno's use of editing. Film school is ruining me.
I think being a buddhist has made me a better drunk
there is no excuse for him not showing up to my st. patrick's day party. i touch his dick. i get him on the high holidays.
Meh. People are people bro. All of us are hairless psychotic apes. Happy 420.
Im eating a cannibus peanut butter and jelly sandwich, while snuggling a stuffed animal. Either this flu is really really harsh or I'm some kind of stoner toddler
There is a 1000000% chance you'll be turned down if you try coming on to me while I watch Star Wars.
I have got to stop taking so many uppers and downers simultaneously. My life is a Dali painting.
She unfriended me on Facebook after I responded to her long love note with #demtittesdoe. Jager is the goddamned devil.
I was driving around a golf cart with a keg in the back before I got caught by the cops. First slow speed chase ever
apparently I like to do this thing where I wear pretty dresses and then pee on things on public. Picture proof. Four times last week.
Well I'm missing half a toenail if that's any indication of my night
That's the 2nd med student that has had his tongue in my butthole, what gives.
You can accomplish quite a bit with a can do attitude and a well placed ice cube.
Randomize
