So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
Bonnaroo quote of the day: "why the fuck am i pregnant?!?!" - exclaimed loudly by random hippie.
Just got kicked in the balls by a girl in tap shoes. Fuck EVERYTHING
the only thing he could say in english were 'insert coin here' and 'game over'. i love spanish men.
we were bear claw grabbing his crotch in the middle of the bar yelling prominent ridge over and over.
They wouldn't let me go to sleep at the police station while I was waiting to bail u out. YOU OWE ME
Ice cream: Good. Fraternity: Good. Eating ice cream off a Skid Row bum's ass crack in order to get into a Fraternity: Homoerotic at best. I quit.
Annnnd I didn't even notice there is a guy dancing in a jock strap beside me. That explains girls smiling at me
They never prepare you for how broke ur gonna be in college. I just accepted money from two underage girls at a gas station to buy them beer only because I'm trying to figure out a way to run off with it without them noticing.
Dude, use it to buy them beer. Then run the beer to ur car as fast as you can and bring it to the party. Seriously, we're running out of booze over here
Please don't mistake my med student status for responsibility. I'm drinking tequila while studying vascular surgery techniques.
There is a midget driving a powered tricycle around town. I am not drunk, stoned, or lying.
Hey.. Lock your door. There's a drunk girl walking around in here. She just came in my room and peed on my chair.
Did you hear about the guy wearing a spiderman mask running around naked with a bottle of patron?
Yeah.
I was spiderman.
Pooping in a box is not fun. You're not a cat.
well...I was at work...until someone dropped dead during their performance of "I believe I can fly". It was karaoke night.
Randomize
