I ate one of your animal crackers. just one. ok four. but no frosting. ok frosting.
Holy shit bill nye is being consulted as an expert on cnn and hes credited as the science guy. What the fuck is the world coming to?
Whenever I said your name you screamed polo and did another shot.
I am currently in the waffle making stage of highness
it wasnt like "sexy" or whatever. like...she was smiling just standing there butt ass naked
tasteful.
i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
I think i blacked out...but i remember licking your teeth
Three people drank on "never have I had sex in a tractor." Iowa at its best?
If I could sit on this toilet forever I would totally do that right now
I'm serious. I have boob tassles if this is an exchange thing.
I now have a "weirdest thing a guy ever did in bed" story. Cut my fingernails.
Yeah I'm gonna need you to stop it right there.I know this is supposed to be a safe space but Imma have to exit.
HAVE BEEN SPEAKING IN RUSSIAN ACCENT FOR 5 HOURS
SHIRT GONE
I am officially in a love triangle with my celebrity crush
MDMA, margaritas, mashed potatoes and ice cream aren't keto Kristin
just hooked up with a guy ON MY CAMPUS VISIT. god only knows whats gonna happen when im actually a student
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