when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
i'm sick of taking my pants off and seeing a look of disappointment on the girls face. i want her to be frigthened
well yea, now i know i won't get hair in my teeth...
i knew it was time to break up with him once he pulled out the Halo foreplay costumes
I don't know where I am but there are firefighters
Cant decide who was more of a mess the morning after... me when i passed out in the bathroom stall or you when you sprayed yourself down with hairspray thinking it was sunblock
Just had to explain to the nurse WHERE I have poison ivy. Great Day
Apparently it costs $70 to clean vomit off the side of our apartment building.
Nicole, you can't keep coming over at 3am wanting to build igloos.
I knew we would be good together when you made me lick jameson off your boob while you screamed along with racks on racks
Nobody has seen her in 3 days. Should we call the cops or hope this is just another drunk Carmen San Diego game she's playing?
okay - we take $20 and buy each other some 'drink till we puke' clothes from the thrift store.
I'm not really sure if I peed the bed last night or if the cat was trying to get back at me for using her litter box last weekend
Just realized my relationship wasn't even Facebook official and I'd already cheated on him. 'Shitty girlfriend' is an understatement.
On the bright side, only one more day until we aren't sober anymore.
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