Yeah..And after he fingered me, he wiped it on my face and laughed.
ew wtf
You threw up. And every time you flushed you would wave and go "Bye Bye!" and then when the new water came you would greet it with "Helloooo!"
And then he said "my dick isn't hard enough and your tits aren't big enough for this to work"
I've reached the slutty point of no return. And it feels like multiple orgasms and coke lines
tried doing a cartwheel after 10 beers. Guess who has a dislocated shoulder.
Did the vodka turn my hair yellow or did something else happen last night?
My dick was almost in plain McDonald's sight
Why is the clock ticking so loud? Now I know how Captain Hook feels.
can we for just one second remember that I played with a homeless man's rat at st marks?
you walked in, put on rap music and started chugging vodka
He carried you out but the best part is you kept saying "can't I keep dancing" as you were gushing blood
My previously white toilet seat is now hot pink. I'm not sure why or how but I know it's your fault.
I was dreaming of a parallel reality and in the dream I just looked up at my present self and was like "you're high, man"
Just remember that no one else gets to suck his dick but you, feel honored. It's like the Olympic torch of life is being passed off to you and it's your time to run
So hypothetically speaking.. say someone dropped their birth control pill in a hot bowl of soup, and it possibly disintegrated.. would it be just as useful?
Randomize
