Have you learned any life lessons?
I like big butts and I cannot lie.
Just found a copy of intimate toy times in my mom's trash can...
To make up for the snow days we missed he's making us write a paper on alcoholism. It's like he knows.
You hooked up with 4 random girls, avoided your grilfriend finding out about it, and dodged traffic on Park Ave. Can you say luck of the Irish?
Living well is not the best revenge. Fucking his brother is.
i just remember sitting on this bed, naked, STILL WITH A CONDOM ON, and suddenly these random girls were in the room shouting at me
He gave me his business card. It was a Justin Bieber trading card with his number written in sharpie. I have to call him don't I?
Meh. People are people bro. All of us are hairless psychotic apes. Happy 420.
she pretty much pinned my hand to her boob "on accident" for like 10 seconds before she moved. Waiting the rest of the night was just a formality.
There is a BIG difference between doing coke and getting peed on and getting peed on FOR coke
Haven't sucked a dick since mid December. In crisis mode.
Please don't throw the wedding bouquet at me
I have a sixth sense for large penises and lack of morals
I would literally only have sex with a dinosaur right now.
But the problem is you celebrate with your heart but I celebrate with my liver
Randomize
