Yeah. I woke up naked in his bed this morning and remember saying "Get a condom cuz I can't afford an abortion right now" last night. He didn't run. He's a keeper
what are u so afraid of ive smelled ur poop before
I just told the 2nd grade class leprechauns are the children of midgets.
Do you remember anything yesterday that led to needing a cup of couscous in my closet?
thanks so much for stopping me from telling him i want to have sex with him while i proceeded to hookup with the air.
I'm not sure if it was sex or spear fishing. He goes in for it like he's crash landing a rocket
Apparently he's taking the slut he cheated on me with on a cruise for her birthday. THAT COULD HAVE BEEN ME. TITANTIC STYLE.
If your mother gets up on the bar again, I will. The bouncer already had a talk with her earlier.
With a stable of 7 fuck buddies, I literally use a random number generator to determine the order in which I will booty call them on my way home from work. I have not slept in my own bed in a month. I just keep half my clothes hanging in my car or in a suitcase.
I'm dangerously close to tossing this whole "morals" bullshit and swan-diving into the fuckboy lifestyle.
OH MY GOD MY UBER DRIVER IS PEEING BEHIND A DUMPSTER
Still got in the car though
If he thinks I'm canceling my orgy to coddle his stupid fucking behavior, he has another thing coming
You kept saying “keke” over and over so I slapped you then you proceeded to ask if I loved you. In case you’re wondering why you have a black eye - Lauren
Guess who cheated on their SATs? Also on the same line guess who's getting in to Princeton at damn near free of charge?
be the chaos you wish to see in the world...
i'm trying to figure out how to respond to that in text
Randomize
