I fear hooking up with people who have white pillowcases because my guyliner always smears on it and i either have to A. sneak out in the night or B. wash it and see them again
No, I'm only going to drink half my paycheck. That's the responsible thing to do.
you yelled then hung up at the girl on information bc she could not pinpoint your location and tell you how to get to dennys
i love waking up at 5am with an imprint of a toilet seat on my chest
I just found her phone in the quesadilla maker...
its not thanksgiving till you and grandpa shotgun beers out in the shed, and lose
I can't even type what I drank. I'll throw up
Just woke up to the best idea ever. Vodka infused BUTTER. Take a second, and think of the possibilities.
Idk how much more i could have responded my dick was basically trying to unzip the zipper and hop out
Btw. Being a stripper for a week without anyone knowing to pay off my school loan is no longer in my agenda.
He sent me a picture of him trying to push his cock into a Gatorade bottle. I dont know if I'm impressed it didn't fit and disgusted that he sent me something so vile.
2 girls slept in my bed with me. 3 more girls slept on a mattress on my floor. The furthest I got was cuddling. Here's my man card.
Should I have spent my entire pay check on Crown Royal and LSD? No. Do I regret it? Also, no.
I hate when I wake up and find my vibrator next to me. Such a waste of an orgasm...getting myself off in my sleep and not remembering
All I'm wearing right now is a condom and a sock.
Just one?
Yup. One sock.
Randomize
