im orety awesome arent i? relly i know i am
The university put out a message about those missing salt and pepper shakers... You should at least give back 60 of them.
FB needs to have a relationship status called...screwing my roommates bf..linking their names would be an easier to tell her!
you kept lying down on the floor at the bar just to prove you could get back up
I negotiated the purchase of an entire tray of like 50 jello shots for $8.
Sorry about that whole "setting your deck on fire" thing.
What time do you think you'll be heterosexual?
came home to a trail of roses from the door halfway up the stairs. but my nonsingle roommate lives downstairs. idk if they celebrated on the stairs or if some girl tried to woo me last night and i don't remember
next time we make out at a concert please try to refrain from screaming out our hotel room number.. the amount of guys that knocked on our door after you passed out was ridiculous
Oh no. Not her. Her personality clashes with mine in ways that would make me wanna beat myself with a stick.
I greatly enjoy being related to her. Even if is it only by a penis.
Bringing families together since 1987
Also, I don't know if it's the drugs I'm on or not, but I truly believe I was hypnotized last night listening to an audio book.
whoever decided snowing in 90 percent of campus on a night when the streets are flowing with tequila and skittles was clearly not an R.A.
so we have roughly decided that hes the dude all the chicks will bang in college, just so he will do their term papers
I’ve basically been controlling him with my tits for months now, so I can’t even imagine what would happen if I start banging him
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