Girl last night got so wet when I was going on down her it flooded up my nose. I nearly drown
I'm at my inlaws playing Scrabble. Go Fuck Yourself.
I'm pretty sure the only race ive ever won was to my mothers egg
you wouldn't stop saying "oil can" in the tin man voice until I gave you back your flask
I was fucking the girl and her best friend walked in on us. She said we looked thirsty, got us a glass of water, and poured it down both of our throats. It was like... sex bottle service
yeah, but the first step is admitting you have a problem, the next step is kidnapping him
We lost Kevin again. Probably kidnapped by fattie 2 or butter-face 2 from last night. We need names and any information you can give us. Last scene with his shoe laces converted into a belt.
Did you leave a blizzard on my porch last night? Or was that someone else giving out a metaphorical threat to me?
I was high fiving everyone. I even high fived with the wall for doing such a good job suporting the ceiling and keeping us alive.
Fair enough. Everyone has some guilty pleasures. Yours is yourself
Im gunna just be that one ballerina in the low V leopard thong leotard and everyone else can be boring and prude with their little pink tights on.
Thats alot of pressure.
Just on your vagina. BTW I'm passing your house.
If I got to choose how I die, it would be in an Olympic sized pool of gin and tonic.
him and the cab driver we buy e from got into a fist fight, about which show is better, futurama or family guy.
My mom has a bong in her bathroom, but no air freshener.
Julius Caesar had a huge penis
WTF are you reading?
Ha ha! No, the guy in the Caesar costume last night. We hooked up. His dick was huge
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