butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
Dude I just witnessed a midget touching himself and singing the chorus to somebodys watching me by michael jackson... it kinda turned me on
it's just weird having a massive boner in the morning when you could have used it the night before.
Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
there's only 1 girl at Mount St Mary that's a virgin. the Mary statue standing outside
I spent my night drunkenly staring at a picture of John Stamos. How do you think I feel?
She said, and I quote "how do you run with something that big between your legs".
Ask him about a girl named Meg then give a disappointed and disapproving face.
Really, thanks for buying me caribou, it helped me out. Today will forever be the day I threw up in a caribou cup in the skyway outside of chipotle.
You need to braveheart it on Monday. Blue face paint and a loin cloth screaming freedom in your front yard.
Nothing says male bonding like watching porn with your grandpa
Once again being low on toilet paper is forcing us into another round of our favorite game - toilet paper roulette - where there can only be 1 winner. Maybe.
I can't believe we really went to walgreens to use their cork opener, bounced and drank a bottle of wine in a sketchy corner...
So I have been told that I licked your eyebrows last night
I love you man I just want to hold you and fuck you until you only know my name
I don't know who you are but HOW THE FUCK DID YOU GET MY NUMBER
Randomize
