The reason halloween exists is because it's not cheating if you're wearing a costume.
He's only a little bit crosseyed.
I think this is one situation where "a little bit" doesn't mean much.
As a matter of principle, I waited until noon to start the drinking binge.
I was just about to send a concerned text until I opened my door and saw a shopping cart. I'm glad you made it home in one piece and with toys.
Just got invited out of group to take shots after hearing her gay friend say "why would I give him my alcohol so you can suck his dick. It's going to be a good night
They sent me to the hospital. Apparently, of the many things I said, I looked at the doctor and told him, "Wow... it's like you're a REAL DOCTOR!"
SHE WON'T ROUND UP MY GRADE! I have a 79.8% I ONLY MISSED TWO CLASSES!!! ONE WHEN I GOT DRUGGED AND ONE WHEN MY CAR GOT BROKEN INTO!! I'm interculturally competent. I used to date a Italian/Cherokee Indian. I fucked a Palestinian. How much more pro-peace can you get?
YOU NEED TO STOP BLOWING DUDES ON MY COUCH AT MY PARTIES
YOU NEED TO STOP PROVIDING TEQUILA AT YOUR PARTIES
We're looking for the removeable roof from her Miata. Winner gets a 40.
I thought you wanted to talk?
What part of "Lets have angry sex" means I want to talk?
On a scale of 1 to 10 how concerned should I be
Where does drinking Flat, warm beer from two days ago rank of the No Fucks Given scale?
she walked up to me at the bar, kissed me, andthen declared "I HAVEN'T SEEN YOU OR YOUR PENIS SINCE 2011."
Does this mean I have to put a bra on now
If you shit your pants and not say anything about it right before we have sex one more time I'm dumping you.
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