I dint menn to makr ut w brtendr
Wat???
U lft me at bar, no cassh for cab, may have slept with bartender
I found the seven page love letter I had written you. I'm sorry i was so obsessed.
My mind says no, but my body says yes.
What does your body say about chlamydia?
I'm gonna die fat and alone and all they will find is pizza crusts
If we don't get kicked out of this hotel tonight for fucking too loud we're breaking up
omg. if hes just gonna get mad everytime i have sex with one of his "friends" then it was never gonna work out
He was dressed in a pink dressing gown feeding people ketamine from a plastic sword he called Excalibur. how was your Monday?
And apparently midway I said "hurry up and finish so we can talk about what a bad idea this was"
when i first looked at you, you weren't wearing any pants. but then i realized you had them around your neck as a cape.
I sobered up in the middle of it, that I was hooking up with him in a rosemary bush. I woke up smelling like a pasta dish
The water at the venue tasted HORRIBLE so I just kept drinking booze. It was like the medievals.
hey dude my crackhead idol just taught me a great way to tie shoes
I wiped my ass with some girl's sock, I would honestly admit if I hate Caitlin's sandwich.
Within the first 2 minutes of this morning, I found out the Lions lost on last play, and Scott Weiland died. I wont be in today.
I just bought two 8 Balls of Coke from the chick nurse that stitched my leg together in the ER after my bike accident last summer.
Randomize
