Now hope fervently that she'll do it quick and cheap, just the way i like it
I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
I'm worried someone is gonna take a black light to my work computer. But the connection is faster here.
you told all the 17 year old girls at the party that your mating call was "I glitter in the sun"
oh my god i just remembered the cat blow jobs.
He just said he wasn't going to drink on Saturday because he was drinking on Thursday and Friday...we need new friends.
you called me in the middle of the night, wandering the streets, in search of "the ultimate burrito"
Just did an upsidedown spineboard shot. Gotta love lifeguard parties.
New bet. First person to fuck their girlfriend and narrate the whole thing in Morgan freemans voice wins. You are disqualified if she asks you about. My girlfriend is on her rag. U have the headstart. Your move...
he kept saying that we were in ian's fun time place and then continued to act like a dinosaur.
Found my bike today. On top of the garage. I'm not even going to ask myself why.
That feels better than graduating college or that time I tried to ride a llama. Did you know they really spit?
Whatever it's Canadian jail, it's not like Guatemala or something. It'll be nice and cushy and they'll probably throw him a big bday party with all his friends and strippers
I was walking around the party holding a dog on my shoulder like it was a parrot
I'll never get why we had to sing the entire full house theme to the cab driver.... never drinking rum again.
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