doug butabi!
steve butabi!
hotties wanna shake it
you said the mailboxes were turning into babies and they started crawling away. then you cried and asked me how you were gonna get your college acceptance letters
and I asked her"are you allergic to condoms latex like your older sister " she said "Idk this is gonna be my 1time"
I heard that if you win you get to have sex with me. You guys really need to stop wagering my vagina.
I don't know what he sees in her. All I see are horrible pancake nipples
then he tried to convert me to islam
yeah, we figured out that passing a joint between cars was a pretty bad idea
Oh, I forgot to ask if u have any idea what happened to the back of my ear and if u were present when I almost fell off the roof...
traded hat for shot of whiskey. lovah yo life. only ADVENTURE NOW. OH GOD IT WENT TO CAPS LOCK
Don't be alarmed at the kitchen mess. I had to shoot the fire extinguisher on the toaster oven, one quick blast. It was a matter of safe over sorry.
Thanks to a poorly written tweet a whole bunch of people thought I died last night.
Hahahahaha. That's what your stoned ass gets for eating half a bag of processed cheese at 2am.
My boobs looked so good under the black light I saw a girl physically cover her boyfriend's eyes.
We need to borrow someone's dog. Just so we can non-creepily go to PetSmart and watch all the other dogs take photos with Santa
Rum and your dick are involved. You're relying on the unreliable narrator.
Randomize
