Maybe if i eat something filling like whole wheat pasta it will make me less hungry for things like dick
she was so ugly that the sight of her made me shiver and then i had to play it off like a draft blew by that only i felt.
Yep and i guess after he came back from that he sat down next to me and i just put my hand right on his penis just casually like it was his leg
Crazy how fast a room full of drunk teenagers sober up when someone breaks his parents' new flat screen
Do what? I was just saying that at some point there's a chance I'll have a boner. Think of it like a guessing game. "Does he have one now?"
One day this summer I just wanna get blown under the hot sun all day.
Deal. Roof-top 69 on Saturday, July 20th. I've got it in my calendar.
I'm sitting on my couch eating a bag of marshmallows and watching someone run bare ass down the street. What has happened to my life?
Speaking of mom and dad and Halloween... Mom bought a size small slutty nurse outfit last night. So yeah, they're getting hammered
oh my god I have a fantastic druncle story to tell you. It involves a burrito, a meltdown and a bear
The burrito and meltdown are standard, but I'm intrigued by the bear
You may have gone on a date, but I ate chicken nuggets shaped like dinosaurs for dinner tonight. I think we both know who the real winner is here.
That's a beautiful sentiment.
I FUCKED THE WRONG FRIEND HELP ME
I just had sex a few hours ago now i'm eating frozen yogurt making sex plans for tonight while catching Pokémon. What a time to be alive.
This morning we had sex while he was wearing a full length fur jacket and sunglasses... I wasn't even phased
He was passed out, face in the toilet, so I just pissed on his head. Serves him right
I remember that. We went to taco bell looking for pizza.
Randomize
