We were having sex on the balcony and this guy walked by, so drunkily i said "dont move, he cant see us if we dont move."
Had a 3 sum last night, and today food just taste better and the air seems so much fresher!
come over i need a lifeguard for my shower
Yeah go get her. And don't bring her clothes I want her to walk back in her Christmas stocking dress. Take pictures.
WHAT? When did I ever refer to one of my past hookups as "the rainforest guy"?
Although I love the reason it was done, can you maybe not show pictures of my dick to all your friends at parties? I like to present my penis in my own special way. thanks
How am I feeling this morning? Well, besides the fact that my vagina looks like a pair of giraffe's lips and I'm walking like an over-confident cowgirl, I'm fantastic. Thanks for your concern.
i just remember sliding through the snow and yelling i love america before puking on the oncoming cars
Ok, they now been on the roof for two days. I can see 4 cases of teecate and a carton of smokes. They are yelling at "fucking fall" and pissing off the roof.
And then I fed you egg rolls in bed as you were screaming I'm moving out
Sending dick pics while driving a car going 80 in the rain at night to a married woman? Why hello 2014
who knew tequila and Christmas cookies would go so well together
If you keep giving me that glorious dick ill bake you some cookies
Morning fuck and a coffee. ARE YOU READY TO CONQUER THE GALAXY WITH ME??
It's really hard to tweet with a pussy in your face demanding attention.
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