Picking up third year law school girls is like MILF hunting for beginners
just used a caramelizing gun to spark a bowl, i don't think today could get much better than this.
Here's an idea...how about I take shots by myself and drunk dial you around noon?
he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
on a side note you can NOT make bong water out of a pear
i walked in and you were spoon feeding your sister grape juice out of a tupperware.
someone just sent me a bong wrapped in christmas paper in the mail. signed 'santa'.
It's probably just the physical manifestation of slut karma. But i of course mean that in the kindest way possible because i love you and respect your choices
If life deals in absolutes, the in betweens are the most hairy.... Fortune cookie wisdom from a stoned Megan.
You asked him for a membership to him and his dick.
Just called the consul general of France "dude"
Getting your clit pierced is not something you want to trust to a crazy girl with an ice cube, some vodka, and a sewing needle. Trust me. I learned that the hard way.
I used my dress as a plate for pizza rolls last night
His acid is intense dude. I was just over at his place laughing about the hole in the wall I was convinced was a cat
I'm gonna be late for work because i decided to masturbate and forgot to put my clothes in the dryer
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