I have to decide between the hot young blond with no apparent gag reflex, and the brunette with a great ass and a trust fund.
Of course I'm hard in the pics. If there's a chance that these pictures will cause a scandal later in my life I at least want my dick to look it's biggest
Well you are. Awfully cute even. Like baby bunnies. And tiny, tiny penises. You know.
Is there a word for someone who only has sex with NFL prospects?
Idk what else to talk about besides you paying for half of my vaginaplasty.
i'm not even sure i have knees anymore. that awesome.
Sometimes you get drunk and fall out of a car. I never said it was glamorous.
No I just rolled on the floor giggling. I think that's the equivalent to a post sex victory dance.
She apologized again the next day. I said it was pee under the bridge
I can't believe he just friend zoned me like that.
Dude, you're not even gay.
He left for work so I drank pickle juice from his fridge
I just masturbated while watching Say Yes to the Dress
This is what my life has come to
That female nurse who took a selfie with my man parts well I was out of it just got fired and arrested... You know all she had to do was ask lol
Just realized how behind i am. Will gradually increase drinking until i don't remember that i missed an entire year of class.
the woman that waxes my lady parts just hugged me...
were you wearing pants?
no.
Randomize
