would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
Something smells like weed and I think it might be my mascara. Come sniff my eyes
We should search craigslist for porches to sublet.
Remember that pineapple I soaked in vodka last month? Just found it- nothing is growing on it? Think it's safe?
At what point would you like us to save you from yourself?
there is a money trail leading from my bathroom to my living room.. the trail ends with a half eaten bag of chips with a note that says "magical chipz".. who am i?
So much for doing Irish car bombs in my grandpa's memory.... Asshole.
Do you think I shall pursue this journey to the center if the dick?
The guy I brought home last night made a speedy escape while I was in the bathroom. The only trace I found of his flight was a lone sock on the stairs.... It was like a whorey low budget Cinderella
HE'S LICKING FROSTING OFF OF THE EIGHTEEN YEAR OLD BOY
At this point all my Tinder matches are telling me I'll be fucking the whole male population of UMass '17.
Just read the 12 signs you're a horrible roommate post and fucking in your roommate's bed wasn't on the list, so I'm a pretty awesome roommate.
well i blew him then my wife blew him, so im guessing we'll be seeing him around, yeah
no, it was more of an i-don't-think-he-even-knows-what-a-clitoris-is, bad.
on one hand I spent like $120 last night..on the other that was the best sex of my life
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