I totally have a Rabbi on speed dial now. Keep it Kosher.
You don't need id to drink rum in an alley.
Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
sometimes you just have to masturbate at your friend's house.
the higher we get, the more he looks like ray charles.
I just made a steamroller out of a christmas ornament. I feel so festive.
All I've consumed over the last couple days is Vanilla Coke, semen, and Coors. I don't think today will be any different.
dude she looked like Newman from Seinfeld I'm done with this wingman shit
I have to cancel. My sons dad is out of jail unexpectedly and i'm kinda an emotional wreck. P.s. This is not the life I dreamed of as a little girl.
So I bought some random chick a shot she puked in her hands then I watched her make out with my roommate
why would you automatically assume i'm high...
you just told me you're eating the powder of a lemonade mix.
He used the expression "my couch is your couch" as a come on line.
Its like her house is inhabited by 50 year old lesbian water color artists with a throw pillow fetish
A stripper just invited me to her daughter's birthday. Where did my life go wrong?
She was doing drunken zumba and screaming "FUCK YOU I HAVE MY OWN STYLE!" at the TV
Randomize
