Just remembered I told my boss that matt used to make me toss his salad like every time we hooked up. Nice
I hate having morals and standards the next morning.
Nothing makes my dick softer than hot girls in rain boots.
karaoke mosh pit has descended into fisticuffs, send backup
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
Its not that I don't mind giving her as much as my penis as she wants, its the post sex cigarette I have to supply. Shits $9 a pack.
Put a tip jar next to your bed from now on.
Your good ideas are reason #4 we need to live together.
Jesus these cramps...it's like every potential fetus I swallowed last night is personally punching me in the uterus
She just rubbed her face up and down my six pack cooing. Equal measure of weird and hot.
I SMOKED SO MUCH I SKIPPED A DAY.
Apparently I'm short enough to sit on his lap and fuck him while he is driving because the cop didn't notice.
Doug will be the one to get my vagina. I don't know when or how but I'm now declaring that it is his. And he better not disappoint.
Just so you know, I woke up with 2 oven mits in my bed and no clothes on.
I haven't showered. And am sitting in the office smelling like a beer can someone's been using as an ash tray.
You were throwing up into a trash can full of used condoms. I had to intervine.
I swear to god, no guy has been as interested in sticking stuff up my butt as this girl
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