Do you ever think God made girls unattractive around their periods as a warning?
he shattered multiple jars of jelly against his roommates doors last night. this morning the asian one wouldn't even talk to him because he thought he was gonna get beaten up
Just got laid for the first time in 3 yrs, 10 mo, 1 wk & 2 days. YESSSS.
Exactly how low is masturbating to your cute professor's lecture videos?
I think my vagina was keeping me fat all these years out of self preservation. It's like she knew what would happen if I lost the weight.
Let me begin my 3 part apology by saying that you are a wonderful human being...
If turning my entire backyard into a slip-n-slide is wrong then I don't wanna be right
I said geronimo as I came I'm not sure if he appreciated the doctor who reference or was just confused
By 11 pm the pants were off and there was no turning back. But on the bright side, you promised me your CDs when you died, you even signed a napkin saying so.
Dude, I lost my shirt, and my doorknob is gone. I'm not sure which I should find first
I saw a shooting star while he was eating me out at 3am by my neighbors pool. Doesn't get more magical than that
They ran out of toilet paper so I used the rug to wipe my vagina
Woke up this morning with girl, I ask her for some gum. She says "there's a guest toothbrush for the boys in my bathroom". I can't decide whats worse, that she has a shack brush or that I actually used it
I am 95% sure I just heard my cat say "What are you doing home? It's Saturday night."
I need dick so bad, I’m dressing sexy for the school pick up line and sports practices to entice a few of the DILFs
Randomize
