I just got off a plane from Mexico. At least 15 passengers dashed to the bathroom throughout the flight. Can you tell its spring break?
It's a good thing i didn't end up pregnant...i would have had to figure out his last name.
Its like I was sleeping with a kid. His gum fell into my hair while sleeping and he just wanted to cuddle.
He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
To say the least, now you know you're a proper lady, passing a field sobriety test in heels...
If he really loved his girlfriend then he'd wear a condom when he fucks me.
Tim john just told us the story about him losing his virginity at 14 during church on the emergency exit staircase. This is day drinking?
Update. He just picked me up and tried to demonstrate
I think I ruined his life by managing to get his initiation nickname for his frat to be "Whiskey Dick" but I still wish herpes on him and his fugly new girlfriend.
I'm 11 for 13 getting drunker than the person who's birthday it is
Am I allowed to be in denial about being gay again? Or is that one of those things you can't do?
During sex his mom asks from the other side of the door, "Do you like avocados?" Who doesn't like avocados?
I just Miyagied my roommate through her first set of tit pics. Her fuck buddy owes me.
So, I had a dream last night that involved you as an actual cloaked Captain America and a lot of weird sex, and I didn't hate it.
JUST BECAUSE I LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED DOESNT MEAN IM GOING TO LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED AT WORK
She's officially a Tinder poltergeist.
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