my mother and i just seriously had a convorsation about why you cant Google "Refurbished Dildos"
Its mothers day and I have choke marks around my neck. Thanks for that.
I found a ladder. I don't know where I am. Gonna climb it. I feel like aladin
Where are you? This girl fell on a baby. She is just gone. Please Hurry
I'm hurrying
Dude. She just shit herself.
I've already started drinking so the earlier you get out of class the more coherent I'll probably be.
Oh and I guess I added our cab driver on Facebook. He has "liked" every single one of my beach pictures. Kill me now.
I was to tired to jerk him off, so he made me hold it while he thrusted into my hand.
Want to come over and rub aloe on my tits?
That is cause you are some weird type of mutant that lives off of Alcohol.
You just managed to turn Doctor Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
Fuck you. All I remember from last night is telling random people that I'm in a "judgement free zone" then I threw up
He pulled out a Plan B pill and handed it to me as I left like it was a party favor. God Bless America.
You had a 45min conversation with the Ronald McDonald statue I have the video to prove it
you had her IN YOUR BED NO PANTS AND YOU GAVE HER THW BOOT?!?!?!
Stage five clinger bro. had to go.
Remember how slutty I thought she was when we were freshmen?
Yeah! But that was a long time ago. Plus, you use your sluttiness for good!
Randomize
