Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
I dont ever wanna see you tell my little brother to "spread the seed" ever again
i could't wear that belt anymore, it was gonna make me keep shitting for the rest of the night
you woke up, pulled a beer bottle out of your pants..took a drink and went back to sleep.
he just quoted gucci mane to try and get me to give him head.
where's my purse there's an important taco in it
I gave you a 45 minute blowjob. You were inside me for 3 minutes. I'm going to need you to get your shit together.
I don't know if it's lucky or if it really just makes my tits look THAT good, but I've never NOT gotten laid with this bra on
He showed up 3 hours late wearing roller skates and acted like nothing was wrong with that.
I am alternating between eating dry cheerios and mint chocolate chip ice cream with a fork. Please love me because no one else will
the cops accepted 42 wallaby way Sydney. and the cops, and cab driver accepted the new address. please tell the win i am experiencing
He put on a roller derby documentary. It was either bore myself to death watching that or take off my dress. He was very appreciative.
sober me thinks like you do. drunk me needs sober me's advice. am i allowed to go to his house?
I thought one was bad but really there are two woman stupid enough to marry our brother...unreal
Since moving to the suburbs, all I do is fuck my ex and watch cartoons. It's not so bad.
Randomize