someone get that fucking seahorse.
I would blow Magic Johnson for a pack of lucky strikes right now. Post-hiv.
Some milfs here doing some blow
Dad?
I know it is almost summer when the students in my night class start showing up drunk.
He told me he loved me mid lick. Anyone that can look at me from that angle, lick my vagina, and say they love me must absolutely mean it
The only way i can get arrested is public drunkenness or defacing a national monument. Trust me, i have already looked it up.
I'm still not sure if it was intentional, but the chiropractor definitely cradled his balls on my shoulder. He even seemed to adjust the sack for comfort. I think I should be flattered. He is a doctor, after all..
Sorry about sucking tonight. Drunk truck fucking is apparently not my strong point.
Besides the kids on acid... I was the highest kid there
We were apparently using marine hand signals to communicate to one another where to meet up in the house to hook up.
Didn't even know I knew marine hand signals.
I changed my birth control schedule so that I'm on my period while you're gone this week
I don't deserve you.
So how was the sex with me last night?
No worse than usual.
I bought two pregnancy tests and a cosmopolitan magazine at 4am... I told the cashier "dont judge me, ur not God"
It's National Whipped Cream Day, prep those nips
I got sriracha sauce on my mask while I was eating fast food, now wearing it makes me hungry
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