Pat told us he showed us his penis because he's "a nice guy".
Not only did I see you last night, you had me help you meet women by convincing them you were deaf and only I understood your sign language
Is it gay to rub my penis between my butt cheeks and pretend that they're tits?
Wow! You need to get laid.
turn left when you see the girl thats puking on the sidewalk. she hasnt been moving much so she makes a good street marker
How long is it safe to eat only Hot Pockets and Popsicles?
slut bingo starts in ten minutes ...
don't be alarmed if you come back and i'm passed out drunk and naked cuddling with the franzia.
I just remember being in the bathroom alone cussing out the bunny
No like you fell onto the fence. I don't even know how you got into the fenced in area.
according to the video, you won you first drunken karaoke contest based off of your actual singing abilities and not because you took your shirt! I've never been prouder :)
Fun fact: drinking me now steals weaponry
I'm just saying, I walked in on you blowing a burrito. I now understand how obsessed you are with Taco Bell. And how long it's been since you've got some.
The fact that I am laying in bed on my stomach with an ice pack on my rump is a clear indication that I am no longer in my carefree 20s
Bro I just got a hand job playing tiny wings.. Hell yea
I have mystery bruises on my right knee, right arm, under my chin, and on my forehead. What the fuck happened last night??
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