Best feeling in the world? holding your pee all day for a negative preggo test
I don't even know how sober sex starts anymore
Would it help you get over me if I told you that I had unprotected sex last night?
she ate the whole pudding cup using only her tongue. i'm considering going lesbian for her
I have blocked the memory from my mind. He is just a fuzzy cloud floating with my other bad decisions..
What are you doing? Did I punch you in the face last night?
my greatest accomplishment from the city of diplomacy is that i puked at a table of 5 diplomats and my professor and NONE OF THEM NOTICED
I tried to interpretive dance to Candy Shop to stop the awkwardness.
We're already drunk. 4 hours to go still. And there's a bear advisory. TOP WEEKEND.
classified somewhere between kinky and medically inadvisable
We got a lap dance! I touched a boob!
a guy messaged me on POF to ask if I knew of any places that were hiring. And was being completely deadass serious. I'm so done
I fear our relationship is coming to an end. Last night I felt the need to bloody apologise for waking him up with a blow job.
You were giving me all the reasons why being the big spoon is such a responsibility, and how you wish you were a girl cause the little spoon does nothing
Started my new year off by being hospitalized with pneumonia. You?
Found out I'm pregnant.
I'll stick with pneumonia.
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