i'm sure there's a big cosmic reason for things working out the way they did. like, now you have awesome images to masturbate to.
Well his aunt was in the next room so we had to be quiet. I felt like i was on an episode of silent library.
Her pussy was so beautiful. That's what I'LL miss the most. Not the omelets. You're the roommate, obviously our priorities on this situation are vastly different.
Good news, I found your other leg warmer. Bad news, I don't know if the pile of puke I found it in was yours.
He texted me saying that his mom found my nuva ring in their jacuzzi filter. I don't think I'm welcome back anytime soon.
It'll just be like "PENIS HERE". In case you get lost.
You know how hard it is to play cool while not drowning and appreciating a pair of butts at the same time?
After a little too much, I decided public urination was a constitutional right.. Nearly got deported for that one
lets do drugs on my lunch break tomorrow
Their children would look like the Michelin man and smell like chef Boyardee
We just catapulted a jelly bean off of his hard dick into his mouth.......Happy Easter!
My roommate just google searched "cumming blood" using my laptop. Her boyfriend is in her room, she looks scared. Words cannot explain how hilarious this is.
I turn into such a nice and loving person when I take Vicodin
How are you feeling today?
Like Satan handed me a grenade and ass sandwich.
Do you have any idea how awkward it was to type ‘dog twerking’ into google search? Because I don’t think you do.
Randomize
