what do kids with lesbian moms do for father's day? like do you talk about it? is it awkward? do you get the butchy mom a card?
just landed in detroit. Currently holding a bag of my own vomit. neighbor told me it was the most graceful vom she has ever seen. Kicking off bar exam week in style.
i found your underwear in my bra... i dont even remember how this happened.
shit. all i remember is the look on your moms face.
all she kept saying was "harder" "mayo" and "who are you"
He wants to call Lloyd's of London and have my mouth insured.
Legitimately semi-blackout across the table from the governor off a chardonnay i can't even pronounce.
everything was going well until edgar threatened to handcuff the security guard to himself.
I just don't know what he sees in my vagina...and that scares me.
Find out what day classes start and I will come down to Richmond that weekend. Any broad who claims to be 18-21 will be promptly ID'd. My job has trained me to spot a fake from a mile away, and I don't need a statutory rape charge.
I'll be there in a few.
I'M COUNTING TO FEW.
My horseshoe mustache feels at home at this bar.
I'm two shots in and wandering around Barnes and Noble with $58 in singles.
I should not be allowed to be in possession of a fifth and a phone at the same time.
What's a professional way to say get your shit in gear?
I kept my extra Molly pill in my wallet in the change part, that's also where I keep my body jewelry while I'm working. The nose ring punctured the pill essentially coating itself in MDMA. My nose ring is back in my nose. This could be entertaining
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