She looks like Robin Williams dressed as a frog.
i was so high last night that i actually googled "how to get un high"
if you ask that question again our friendship is over
We decided to have a girls night of four lokos, three of us cried and the other puked
He might have if you were a little more subtle about your feelings instead of telling everyone multiple times how much you wanted his dick
He blended the pizza with water and drank the whole thing. He is my hangover hero
I just invented spray cheese vodka. tastes real nasty but does the trick.
Know what's awesome? Flying a mini helicopter while you shit.
gona look into getting a tetanus booster and carrying an adrenaline shot...its going off this weekend
I had a dream last night you were Aladdin. I think due to me watching 6 hours of Disney movies and the fact you told me you were wearing a vest.
Dreams are coming true for both of us.
no joke- she just sprinkled parmesan cheese into her champagne and slurred "I just need a little snack"
After getting all 4 of my wisdom teeth removed I asked my dentist how much better would I be at head
I'm cutting her off I can't have my good name soiled with these kinds of shenanigans
Shit is preposterous
His premature ejaculation problem is getting old.
Quick question, did I crash teeth with you when I snogged you, or did I headbutt something between the car and the bed last night?
Lies! You took my virginity, and now my cigarettes!
Randomize
