what kind of morning-after breakfast implies 'thanks for the sex, but i'm not gonna call you ever again'?
Umm ok I'm kinda freaked out right now bc the chick that lives next door is either having tantric sex or slowly suffocating her dog to death.
I think it's our patriotic duty to get high and watch the state of the union tonight
I figured, if I'm going to wear a gold cape its pretty safe to assume I'll be blacking out as well.
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
Can we have a celebratory fuck now that the lockout is over?
You're the best girlfriend ever.
Is it acceptable I'm laying in bed drinking airplane bottles?
In our world? Yes, but I'm disappointed yoiu are wasting airplane bottles. Save them for sneaky occasions
From scraping the remnants from a coke bag at a lingerie party to meeting with an 80 year old man to discuss civil rights all in under 12 hours bizarrely feels like the epitome of my life
KEG. KEG. THE OPERA HAS A KEG. KEG STAND IN A TUX. AFTER PARTY RAVE AND KEG STANDS.
This guy punched out a light, puked in the sink, stole the mailbox, then tried to tell ME that I had to leave the party... Then his dog shit on the floor.
The wizard has you scheduled for a 6am sex breakfast
I'm so there
What's your opinion on eating ass? Just looking for a yes or no
Ah Christ I think I've reached the single life mentality 100%. I just inquired a photographer about a photo shoot with my dog.
Do you remember feeding the vacuum doritos last night?
Excuse me I just made a hot pocket without burning down the house, I think i can do anything.
Randomize
