Dude I just figured out the mystery flavor of airhead is vodka sprite, no way i'm wrong
You broke her grandpas urn and ran your hand through his ashes claiming it was pixie dust. I think thats why shes mad at you..
98% is good enough for me. Kinda like birth control. Worth the risk
I just wanted to share with you that my life has come to naked arts and crafts, to fix my flask, with a rum and coke in my hand... Good luck on your exam
I made her orgasm until she cried. Four years of only having sex with dudes and I've still got it.
I started rolling down the window so he pulled into a gas station and i puked all over the side of the car while some dude stared at me. I waved and we drove away
I miss you too. And it was nice meeting your brother while I was mounting you
Apparently getting a blow job in the mens room from the bar owners daughter will get you kicked out.
I ripped off the screen and literally supermaned through my bedroom window. That wasted
They had like literally all the dildos. It looked like a seance for dick. I left the apartment and haven't been back.
My mom just said "okay girls, the ONLY thing i ask is that you stay sober Saturday afternoon, until halfway through lunch. And you don't wear that crystal camo hat. This is a funeral, not a tailgate party"
Best wishes.
I dont remember you getting a condom thrown at you. I think I had a concusion
So much for no-infidelity-fridays....
I'll be an awkward "I've had the grooms penis in my mouth" presence and we can party our nipples off.
I miss my innocence.
I miss being able to say, "I've never done this before."
Randomize
