I kept calling his name while we were having sex cuz i was so proud that i remembered it.
There is a keg full of gin. THERE SHOULD NEVER EVER BE A KEG FULL OF GIN.
I noticed when you had too much when you were yelling "HOE-HAVE-A-SEAT" to his cat.
i think i'd rather have a trophy of a like jizz stained curtain or something
Thats why you always identify the subtext of a blowjob before you accept it.
you also choked him out with your legs on the kitchen floor..
He makes me want to shower. It must be love.
Officially drug you out of White Castle last night by the hood on your sweatshirt after you cussed out the attendant and stole the satisfaction guaranteed sign because they were closed!
And then we felt it necessary to continue drinking for another 4 hours, yikes
He recreated the night that started all my mothers days. We shared a joint, drank Boones Farm, and dry humped to the Beastie Boys. Then I cried over MCA's death. Best. Gift. Ever.
Okay. So I've done lines off a bible. But that's just for the sake of being cliché.
You gave my cousin a blowjob and are facebook friends with my mom. Is there a name for this level of friendship?
One of my pillows is missing but it's cool because there is a beef stick.
But if you move out who will get drunk with me on the roof and yell at boys?!?
she chased shots of jack with a fucking steak. i'm in love.
Why are you naked at 4pm?
Its my birthday, I dont have to wear clothes
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