I'm at the airport and there's a guy wearing all camoflash to go hunting .. Should I bump in to him and say woahh sorry didn't see you there?
We have a hundred jello shots. Lines will be crossed.
The fact that he is from Canada is way more embarrassing than the fact that you met him on match.com
as she was beating the hell out of his ex, she screamed prison rules, and smashed her head with a beer bottle. I'm oddly afraid yet so attracted to her now.
You beat him at the shot competition, and proceeded to rub it in while telling everyone to "ASK ME A MATH QUESTION!!!"
The sad thing is; I'm getting used to walking around feeling like I could hurl at any minute.
Hearing them have a conversation is like listening to water buffalo have sex. Awkward and scarring.
I just know what's gonna happen. I mean. I shaved my legs up to shorts length. But I'm leaving the rest as a sort of makeshift caution tape.
we need to make pact to not cut each other's hair on coke and whiskey nights.
While I agree, I dont think thats realistically possible
I just sent a dick pic to a number on Craigslist, this may be my new low
Well I'm half drunk in a green tutu at a chipotle. So pretty good parade.
She was blacked out on the couch MASTURBATING and whispering to her boyfriend...who wasn't there. I yelled her name and she didn't even pause.
It's a shame things ended how they did. We were well on our way to transforming from acquaintances with benefits to friends with benefits.
I am texting my ex and my future boyfriend while eating fish and chips with my current boyfriend... How and when did I become such a terrible person???
I’m excited to finally meet my stalkee and his penis!
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