i just had sex with a fat kid who giggles when he cums. tequila really lowers my standards.
HAH. HARRY POTTER CASUAL CONVO HAS BEEN EXTENDED TO DISCUSSING WEATHER. SO PRO
its hard to take this fight seriously when one dude is an oompa loompa, and the other is a "g spot"
Hmmm just stalked him and according to his facebook he wants "whatever he can get." obviously he'd be open to the idea.
That was around the time you tried to kick me out for being rude to your fish.
i was wearing footie pjs. how could there be confusion as to who i hooked up with, thats not something you forget
I feel like we had some profound moment last night, but I can't really recall much past your ass turning up the volume on the radio.
all time personal low: room service guy going "You want french fries AND onion rings???"
That's actually a fantastic idea... The kinky sex dungeon will be vastly improved by the addition of a lightsaber
There's a picture of you on facebook laying in the street with 3 cops standing over you after you faceplanted off that guy's shoulders.
Is that what happened to my face?!
She is the Michael Jordan of blowjobs. Unfortunately, her baby sister is the Michael Jordan of baseball of blowjobs. It does not run in the family.
we need to invent and abuse teleportation
I was desperate and wasn't about to let my cereal get soggy so I ate it on the toilet. Don't let me repeat last night.
Sitting in a music store. There is a 40 something year old guy in a track suit, with a boner, and playing the ukelelie quite intensely.
thanks for thinking of me.
You think that was bad? One time my parents found my sister half naked on top of the four runner in the garage. She makes me look like the good child.
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