I have no voice and feel like lukewarm beer.
What do you do when the person in the stall next to you says they're jealous?
I need Christmas break to be over. I'm tired of fucking my old High School girlfriends
i just fucked the bartender on my cruise to get free alcohol. have things gone too far?
Life is so much better when you know you're gonna get laid soon.
I'm drinking vodka out of a coffee pot. and i'm not even mad about it
If I squint, he looks like Jude Law. But that's kind of a weird face to make during sex.
i'm going to look back at this as the time of my life when i casually dated that autistic guy
Not sure if jager bombs can cure tuberculosis, but its a theory im testing as we speak
And i didn't ask you to do that, You showed your penis at your own free will.
I've woke up in his bed 4 out of the past 6 mornings. I feel like this might be the time to learn more about him then his first name and what kind of beer he drinks.
If I drank a glass of water for every drink I had I'd die of water intoxication like some tweaked out looser at a rave
You were so stoked after landing that flip that you dropped acid with three random guys without hesitation
LOOK, I was 19, and I made a lot of choices with my crotch which I'm weirdly proud of
Yes dear.
I’m going to lick a fucking door knob when this shit is all over
Probably Waffle House
Randomize
