does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
I'm concerned you might be passed out on a random rooftop right now. Not concerned enough to do anything about it. Hope you're alive. Goodnight.
I feel like wearing underwear would just be poor planning
Am I undercharging for one hour of sex per essay? I need a serious business answer.
A guy dressed like Jesus just gave me a mini keg. Prayers really do come true.
I just made my roommate a 'Hope you don't have chlamydia' cake.
Make one for john too.
In my defense, last night's hookup turned out to be my actual girlfriend. That's gotta count for something, right?
He's in the hospital yelling at his brother to at least have stuck something "normal" up his ass.
Again?
WHAT IS PROPER BONG ETIQUETTE FOR WHEN YOU'RE ALONE IN YOUR BATHTUB AND CRYING?
k. The important thing is we are going out. You are stones. I am mildly hallucenating.
I held the blackjack dealer's hand and told the old asian woman she was 'soft to the touch, but cold as ice"
Saying someone's good at giving head is like saying someone is good at pouring juice like there is that one girl who will spill it everywhere but for the most part it's not that hard to be good at
I don't want to jinx anything but I may have found the one.
Cat or human?
Human
The wedding is over. Operation sleep with my step-sister has officially begun
Hate my fucking roommates.... Seriously, who the FUCK peels potatoes in the bathroom sink?!
Randomize
