Astroglide: It's like Bengay for your ass.
i've never seen someone fall down the steps so gracefully... i think im in love
Dude I pulled down his pants and he already had a condom on
Whatever you do to me, stop, I found yet another blonde hair in my asshole.
Drunk roommate walked in on us and asked if we wanted to go eat a sandwich with her in the bathroom.
Just drove through Taco Johns wearing a drug rug and no pants. When I rolled down my window, the girl paused for a minute before saying "um... 4.07"
I kept calling him escargot instead of Estaban..I don't think that was the wisest choice.
Mike showed up naked and in handcuffs. Again. Feel free to come over and laugh because I'm not helping this time.
I'm going to need a Jurassic park sized pooper scooper to deal with all this shit last night caused.
Well she described you as a "Sex-Viking", which seemed to be only slightly related to the red beard. So things are looking good!
I think you'll be amused to know that I achieved the impossible feat of tripping over my own dick
Soooo we should kick it sometime when it's like light outside. Drink outta cups.. Be bitches. 7, 6, 3, 5.. 4, 2, 1... Sschhkiddaellladiieessscchk
The look of disappointment from my cat while I take nudes...
all of these bad things happened because I didn't bring a shower beer.
Oh. Why can't it be something easy, like a punch card for blowjobs?
Randomize
