come pick me up. please. i just puked in my lap. bring pants.
Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
Dude I just figured out the mystery flavor of airhead is vodka sprite, no way i'm wrong
You got ahold of his prescription papers and gave out prescriptions for cranberry and vodka
Girl passed out in class and vomited. Another victim of syllabus week
I'm at breakfast at my kid's school and I have noted at least 3 other parents with last night's red wine mouth and bleary eyes. I don't know why I always get so paranoid.
Champagne is a vitamin, right?
come back what if one of your parents walks in and im just sitting here eating a cheesesteak without you
I will always remember that night by waking up in that tablecloth the next morning
I took a few sips of my hugeee bottle of liquid Vicodin and smoked my one hitter and now I'm going thru my attic like Indiana Jones
You should be able to leave recommendations on Tinder.
Like you haven't hit rock bottom until you have had to throw your own turd out a window
Bill says he deeply regrets the incident with the soda bottle
dude, you ran into a window then asked ME what the fuck I was doing.
It seems I've entered my 21st birthday the same way I entered this world: naked, crying and smothered in someone else's bodily fluids...
Randomize
