The cop didn't care that I was peeing on the wall of my dorm building... All he said was, "come on, it's 9am."
Looking at the victoria's secret website makes the ice cream I'm eating taste like sadness and obesity
Just remembered to take my BC at the liquor store. Just swallowed it with a free sample of Whiskey.
that's what penises do
they tell lies.
So... he formspringed me a link to every nude pic ive taken since he 8th grade. ive evolved nicely. but im nervous as to how this a website.
She was either really drunk or really not interested. Everytime I tried to ask her about herself she would respond with a line from Stepbrothers.
We were eating hotdog buns dipped in French onion dip in lawn chairs at 4am. That drunk
When he came downstairs he looked at me like I was attempting to rob his house.
Did you reintroduce yourself?
He threatened to call the cops.
Umm... How do I tell my roommate someone shot a speargun through the wall? On a side note, cliff shot a speargun for the first time.
I also found a beer label in my bra and I'm pretty sure you put it there and said "this means I trust you"
I feel like you just railed me after that sext
Beer, water, beer, water, beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer so much beer
Just don't let me get too drunk. At one point I pulled out my dick and pissed at that party. Like on the wall.
Looks like it rained condoms in my room last night
Good Morning! You are sterile right?
Randomize
