Do you think people stop being hipsters when they're naked? because that's what my research shows.
he was going down on me when he saw the warts...nevertheless he told me he had to pick his sister up from school. why does this keep happening to me???
i was having this nice romantic moment with my girlfriend. then jimmy came in and peed on the fridge
He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
Yeah she is in it for the money, wait til she finds out i am broke and the sex doesnt get better
He said he's was gunna give me some pain meds. I'm not sure what they are but I just gave him a thumbs up
Discovered a freckle on my clitoris. What have you done today?
I feel like I have heartburn in my nipples.
I sobered up in the middle of it, that I was hooking up with him in a rosemary bush. I woke up smelling like a pasta dish
i just took a huge shit in old main. i think my college bucketlist is finished.
You know it's bad when I'm eating a cold chicken breast alone in bed 😕
Update: pile o Coke party starting at approx 4 - 7 and going until 1ish to celebrate our founding fathers and love of cocaine and hatred of everyone\n
I used to shoot steroids in my ass but for a totally different reason
OHMYGOD YOU REALLY THINK I'D BE ON OPRAH?!
I don’t care if there’s a pandemic. My husband gave me a hall pass for my 40th birthday and I’m going to use it!
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