I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
I just came up with the perfect plan. Once i'm a dentist i'm going to offer dad a million dollars to divorce mom.
Yes, that was me on the jumbo tron. No, i don't know why i was hiding.
omg. MEgabus. stoned.
Theres these two guys talking.
it says 'tasty bitch' in sharpie on my tits...
I'm gonna tie him up and fart in that pathetic excuse for a mustache
New drink: empty coke can vodka water maple syrup. Get on my level
Just yelled out loud for someone to buy me a drink, 30 seconds later random guy on grindr asks what I'm drinking.
There's a 98% chance your drink will taste like rohypnol
Whatever the emoticon is for "balls deep". That.
& I just realized there is no vomit smiley. There needs to be a vomit smiley
My plan for the weekend: 1) Get shit faced in Vegas. 2) Not die
There's some random guy here dryhumping my kitchen door. If he is a friend of yours, please come and retrieve him.
his first act of 2015 was getting stabbed
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos?
She's writing hockey erotica again.
Tell her to pick another team besides ours this time.
Randomize