I'm watching a show called "I didn't know I was pregnant" on TLC...Apparently this happens enough that there is a series
As far as classy things to do in front of your ex go, throwing up on your own shirt is not one of them.
shit I'm tired of wearing other peoples clothes to bed
he was pretty good aside from the whole putting his tongue on my butt thing
time for a it's-monday-night-and-this-week-is-gunna-suck-drink.
you're thinking of things to pack this weekend and you think Don King wig?
he knocked over the vodka and juice...picks up the cup and says "yes", takes the last sip...doesnt even worry about the mess all over the floor and we continue having sex.
I woke up with my keys safelty pinned to my thong. It's gonna be a great day.
decision: in honor of being in new orleans this weekend all my drunk texts will be en francais
I saved him as teletubby in my phone....that can't be a good sign. I'm not answering.
No, it wasn't really a sexy 'I'm going to go masturbate.' It was an 'I'm going to go masturbate' that implied I was going to drink a tall boy of Mikes and cry while I looked at lesbian porn.
On the food pyramid big dick are "sometimes foods"
Only you would get a side of potential vagina with your sandwich
he came with me to get plan b but they didn't have any. when I started crying he said "come on it's not that bad.. ill go get sandwiches from the vending machine and we'll have our first meal together as a family"
My ex's sister asked me to be her date to Thanksgiving. Should I go?
Threesome!
Randomize
