i've never been more proud of someone than i was when he told me he got his first blowjob at age 13...from two chicks
eww mummy girl is here...
what the fuckk. i just want to hold her down, wax her eyebrows, and give her some morals.
She always acts like she's doing me a favor with a hand job. I've been giving myself hand jobs for almost 20 years.
Ya I fucked her.. But now Melissa is gonna find out
Just tell her that in a man's never ending war between his heart and his dick... His heart never wins
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but my underwear and it was on backwards and my entire body is too sore to move...
Im glad someone is finally more of a drunken slut than I am.
HE HAS A CHODE. LIFE IS NOT GOING TO BE EASY FOR HIM.
If you could come over after class and poke me with a stick to see if im still alive id really appreciate it
He doesn't belong with God. He belongs face-down in a pile of his own excrement, vomit, blood and semen. Then pissed on by Satan.
Like, he's a nice guy. But he's better at fingering than he is at speaking.
i had a mental breakdown over a math asignment proposed to a glass of chocolate milk then burned my hands when i acidentally leaned on the stove i have the grill marks burned on my hands i can see them
its only been 20 minuts since i last saw you
Perfect. Let's do that. I'm thinking everclear and green dye as our base. We shud start from there
4 out of 7 roommates in one month isn't that bad if you think about the fact that 3 of them were in the last 24 hours
my roommate would be appalled if she knew how many times i've peed in the kitchen sink
She said she didn't know what fireball was. We are no longer friends.
I woke up to him watching me sleep and after I told him it was over he asked if we were still on for Vegas next weekend
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