My penis looks like a roll of pennies
Oh. Ok. I get the hint.
Like a roll of pennies where the paper got wet & then dried all wrinkly and weird...
My booty call said shes done doing the walk of shame. Wtf is that?
It's what anyone that sleeps with you, specifically, does when they leave. Some do it even when they just think of you.
he kept refering to his penis as the "eternal sunshine"
You know your in college when you use the receipt from the liquor store as a bookmark
at the last minute we also decided to throw an egg in the beer bong. and he drank it, shell and all.
Just realized the guy is in my class. Unless there's another guy that had half his ear bit off at a St. Patty's party
His rich uncle has six months to live. I feel pregnant.
oh and i'm sorry i sold you for three cigarettes last night
The cop was more concerned with the syringes on the dash board than looking for the source of the smoke. Thank god for diabetes!
just letting you know, you took a hit of the blunt while sleeping. happy birthday
I'd just like to inform all involved that walking into a liquor store holding a milk crate at the beginning of a night as stock ends badly
Congrats. You are not detrimental enough to my psyche to be discussed during this mornings therapy appointment. Please follow up next week to see if you made the cut.
Remember when there was a happier time when people could all hang out together with out the awkwardness of the fact that she stole $1000 and cheated on a brother with another brother !?!??
Haha. I found pics last week of me getting motorboated by a girl while i was taking a shot. Hahaha in my wedding dress. Classy
Star Wars means nothing to me. I know only the basics. Darth is Luke's father. R2 is short, C3 is gold. Yoda sings Rainbow Connection. The kinda stuff EVERYONE knows.
Randomize
