Im at strip club and am horny
Bullshit. I know you're watching The Dog Whisperer
That Cesar Milan is captivating
i just ordered an al pacino with double mocha at starbucks.. i'm waiting to see how long it takes the chick to realize what i said.
Just saw a porn entitled "Nad Biter". Redheads are now forever out of the picture.
The really sad thing is that I actually practiced crawling in my room yesterday in preparation for today
While looking for socks, I found my mothers sex toy box. Dear god I finally understand where my kinkiness comes from.
Just did a "spirit of homecoming" bump off a stranger's credit card. A stranger that dropped us off at home. Erica's bad. How do allllll of the Eastern Europeans know how to find drugs so easily?!?
So tomorrow I have my performance review with my boss who I banged. When I go in should I ask if this review will be rating my sex or work performance?
One last thing: he lists glow sticks and tacos as things he can't live without. How would we not be friends??
Why does your life consist of lesbians, black guys and cats?
We had sex with a sexual harassment video playing in the background before his gf got there. I've hit a new low
The amount of dicks I have seen in the last hour is more than I have seen in my whole life.
you bleached my bangs. i have an interview later today and you assholes bleached my bangs.
this is the fourth time i've taken my clothes off for money this year. is that normal for the average college sophomore?
i woke up wearing a life jacket, holding on to a footlong hotdog, and had on a mr. hustle 1995 shirt on
good night
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