he broke up with me so i peed in his bed
And then I have a slight inkling that I went up to the bar and tried to order the bartender.
dude we were making out and she kept singing the americas next top model song. you wanna be on top?
didn't know how to tell his mom I was confused about how long we'd been together because we banged for a full year before making it official
The last thing I remember is stabbing him with his diabetes medicine
this is not the time for floating mt dew and shots of tequila.
btw found the cat. he didn't appreciate the toilet bath.
everything was going well until edgar threatened to handcuff the security guard to himself.
Just got hit on by a middle-aged puerto-rican clown who told me that it would be bad to date someone who offers to buy me coffee and makes something of themselves. I love the NY subway.
I just made an agreement with this milf to shoot her daughters wedding in exchange for blow jobs. Going pro was the best choice I ever made.
Also I fell in love w a girl dressed as a pirate that was great at doing the limbo
I think his roommates are using word magnets to tell me that they can hear us. His fridge currently says, "Chris ate out naughty girl."
This summer has already been like the best summer ever. FREEDOM IS AWESOME. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND GOD BLESS THE SINGLE LIFE.
I'm bringing my passport in case we get drunk and wind up in Mexico
Tell me why I woke up outside of our hotel room Wearing a cowboy hat and boots in Las Vegas.
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