Sorry about that whole "setting your deck on fire" thing.
I'm sitting at home, day drinking, while watching crossroads with brittany spears. I'm not the person you should be asking for advice right now.
I honestly don't know if ill make it through the next two hours. The hangover is strong with this one.
Shots. Renamed a guy (he looked like a Scott to me), running, bloody Marys, walk to Safeway, donuts, ride home from someones husband, Nurse Jackie. FIN.
WHY DIDN'T YOU INVITE ME TO RUN THROUGH TACO BELL'S SPRINKLERS AT 4AM?!
Remember that picture you sent me of you trying to eat the flower arrangement in the bathroom at that restaurant?
Just found out that guy A from the threesome I had is now dating guy B's younger sister
Hiding the dark circles under my eyes this morning was like trying to hide a Beached Whale on the Couch eating Pita chips.
I was angry that a college kid had a new Audi
so I peed on it
LET ME HAVE MY JUDGMENT OF OTHER PEOPLE
The only people who will bring me pizza or tacos want a commitment and I'm hungry for food not their love.
I can't hang out tomorrow. A boy wants to feed me ice cream and touch my boobs. Priorities.
I threw up in a wendys bag in her car. when i went to throw it out the window it exploded all over me. No I don't think there will be a second date.
Sorry I crashed a riding mower into your garage door. No hard feelings??
I woke up under a house in Key West
Randomize
