of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
maybe i'll make good life choices and keep my legs closed. periodically txt me friday and saturday night saying "baby carrot round 2" that should stop me.
not my fault hes the one that tried to cuddle after. said he wanted to spoon away the shame.
You guys bombarded us in the bathroom and that kid whipped his dick out and peed in the sink.
Just licked cheese from my hot pocket off my phone. I spilled because I was eating a Popsicle at the same time. Send an adult please
I'm not gonna lie, my internet creeping skills scare me. I'm like Liam Neeson in Taken
Went home with a dude from UF last night. Just dripped chicken onto my phone and then licked it off. Going to pick up a bridesmaid dress. Mid 20s in a nutshell.
You seemed underwhelmed by my smooth, smooth ass
sober me is the one who makes bad decisions every boyfriend I've ever had I met sober
Business idea: assless chaps for toddlers. I'm high.
Ah you cut my boxers off with scissors, we're way past introductions
There is an episode of "how it's made" on tv right now. The subject is tequila and water beds. Basically my life.
I just punched myself in the vagina to prove a point. Please pray for me.
He told me that I should keep my socks on next time because he read somewhere that it'll help me orgasm...
Dude I cant right now. Were talking about pickles.
Randomize
