Facebook lets you pick usernames now. You'd better log on and get yours before homewreckingwhore is taken...
I got a 69.7 in accounting. I have this whole doing the bare minimum down to a science
were trying to schedule when i can give him head in between classes.
The vodka told me to go iceskating on my frozen pool. I may have attempted.
She told me she eats fruit when she's hungover because it has more water than water.
WHY IS EVERY MAN IN THIS CITY GAY? IS IT SO BAD TO WANT TO BE TREATED LIKE A PIECE OF SHIT BY A REALLY HOT STRAIGHT MAN FOR A NIGHT?
THE CONDOM ONLY COVERS HALF OF HIS DICK I AM IN THE BATHROOM PANICKING
can't blv i tried using a "backpack" as a unit of measurement...i drank a lot of beer last night
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
I'm still drunk. I put on workout clothes this morning and just puked in my bathroom. That's the same as going to the gym, right?
So I'm about to drive his drunk ass home and he spits on my car. Before I can say, "Dude, what the fuck?!", he puts his finger to my lips and goes "shhh, its in the past."
Basically taped my dick down because it's too obvious in this costume...
I'm not THAT invested in seeing you to an orgasm
If last night was a preview of 2015, I quit.
At about 2:30 i found you passed out in my closet with your face covered in cheese whiz
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