Remember that dream I told you about where I shit out my own skeleton? I had it again last night.
I don't know where your sunglasses are, I was too preoccupied with girls not old enough to drive past midnight.
I think the boy in my gender studies class cried when 90% of the girls said they had faked an orgasm
i'm watching the draft and making cookies. how am i still single?
i think it was just a coincidence but she literally vomited the second she saw my penis.
Listen, this was just a tiny lapse of judgement.
I'm pretty sure that's not a synonym for pregnancy.
It's like the only way I know how to apologize is by giving a blow job.
I thought the cops would know I was on shrooms because I was 10ft tall.
So we came to a decision, you need to fuck your hot roommate and send us pictures. We voted, so don't hate the democracy this great country stands for
I still feel like a bad person. A shoulder to cry on became a dick to suck.
It's a good thing my liver is flexible because a lesser man would be dead
He used one of his curtains as a leash and hand restraints. He wins the creative sex challenge hands down.
I don't know man. She said my cock made her promises my heart couldn't fulfill.
Got 3360 Shoppers points for buying Plan B. I guess this all worked out for the best.
we were running around the halls trying to bloodhound search out the source of the weed smell, but we ran into six other people doing the same thing, and they all said they assumed it was us.
Randomize
