If she sucks any more cock I swear she will be a spermivore
If your 8 lb baby was ham it would serve 6-8 people
Oh. Thats cool. Im not dating anyone right now. Sean gave me chlamydia from some GUY he fooled around with. Im being abstinent.
My history with restaurant waiters is severely limiting our dinner options.
What time do you think the pilgrims started drinking? I want to be as accurate as possible.
She's a squirter....that makes up for lots of other annoying things
I literally had to tap out of the blow job. It was like a pornographic wrestling match
Sorry for punching you in the face last night. I should have known the boxing gloves were a bad idea from the start.
she put on her moms wedding dress and is chugging purple jolly rancher vodka, happy cyber monday
So I get to my parents and walk in the door so my mom knows I'm safe and alive and my grandpa looks at me and says "were you being someone's bitch". And I about died of laughter
Wow, he seems so solid
I'm just down here gazing up into your ivory tower of nudes
I dipped out before he woke up, but I made sure to take the pizza with me.
You carved your initals into all my vitamins and said "now a small part of me will be in you every morning" before you fell asleep with my thong on your head.
Soo are you just gonna poop in my bathtub and not talk to me anymore...?
All I’ve had today is sex and water. I think it’s time for tacos.
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