I just found 'pokemon orgy' in my search history
stop calling me dude. finger blasting me officially kills you being able to call me dude.
I remember just enough about last night to wish I didn't remember anything.
She was wearing my robin hood hat from Halloween shouting "steal from the rich and give to the poor, mothafuckaaaaas." We are taking her everywhere.
Drank for free all night and I'm not even sleeping w the bartender. What is this magic?
everything in the house taste like gin even the water, friday nite was a success
My sheer presence has sent the hipsters running in terror. I expect no problems.
What's more sad than going to Target to buy Plan B and the new Sam Smith album?
Last year you twerked on my Christmas tree and threw up all over the bathroom...in front of my parents. We should probably keep power hour to ONLY an hour this year
Double dirt bag award winner tonight. He picked me up in his wife's car.
I yelled at the cab driver to slow down because my unborn children live here, and pointed to my uterus. I think my message was lost in translation though because he immediately offered me his card...
All I know is that I got to have an orgasm yesterday during sex so nobody can put a damper on my day, NOBODYYYYYY
The report specifies "melted cheese food" as the cause of the burns. Your pride, like your cock, isn't getting out of this without heavy damage.
I promise it wsnt a penis when i put it in my mouth
Southwest doesn't have zingzang bloody Mary mix. I'm gonna file a complaint with the FAA
Randomize