he doesn't care that i have a boyfriend so why should i?
logic in its finest
She's never going to forget it... Christmas Anal.
at least the cop wrote "happy birthday" on the ticket.
Okay, we really need to start training for the St Pattys parade. 48 hours of green beer won't end well if we don't prep ourselves. 2 week bender starts now
We had sex and then he fed me pie. This is the best friends-with-benefits situation ever.
5am update: in a toga seeing triple made out with both sexes
So I'm trying to figure out if starting the day running around the quad in a black t-shirt and bikini w/ a drawn on mustache is a good way to start the day...
His mom already thought we were lesbians BODY SHOTS WERE JUST NOT AN OPTION SORRY
If we're single and alone together, the fuck angels shall sing upon our nude bodies.
I'm sitting on my couch eating a bag of marshmallows and watching someone run bare ass down the street. What has happened to my life?
alcohol and riverdancing are a dangerous mix. have a spraind ankle. i die now
It's five in the morning. wtf?
I moved to this city Tuesday and got laid Saturday. Still got it.
Hey remind me the get the pancakes out of my jacket
He's a waste of a perfectly good penis.
We saw the mini basketball hoop and unicycle and just knew we had to create a new sport
Drunk minds think alike
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